Pink Rhinestone Collars Equal Bad Days
by TheTerribleTwosome
Summary: We are back! And torturing. Poor Inuyasha. Seriously, it doesn't get worse than his days.
1. Enter, the Tempermental Goddess

_By Kracken L.W. & the mystery authoress._

            Disclaimer: We do not own Inu-Yasha & co. If we did, Kracken would destroy them all inside of a week for driving her unsane and I'd feed them to my owl. 

            Somewhere in Japan, not far from what was once the home of a renowned (or infamous) Dog Hanyou, lies the small valley of Cold Stone. The caldera of an extinct volcano, it was once renowned for being a tropical paradise even in the depths of winter. A paradise nearly impossible to reach, due to the sheer, basalt cliffs that formed the walls of the valley. Still, many thought it worth the effort to visit, if only for a short time, this small corner of heaven on earth. Then, a thousand years ago, give or take a few, a great cataclysm rocked the once tranquil valley. In the very center, in a grove so perfect that few ever dared to walk there, there appeared a red marble statue of a winged woman holding in her cupped hands a creature slightly resembling a squid, (A/N: if you can't guess what it is, go jump off a bridge.) carved entirely of gleaming obsidian. It seemed to glow from within, but the air around it was cold, and the cold spread. Soon, no matter how much heat the many geysers and hot springs generated, the whole mist shrouded valley was enveloped in an inexplicable chill. Soon, not even the youkai could be persuaded to walk there for any reason. Slowly over the next century or so, the beautifully crafted gazebo's and pagodas fell into disrepair, shrine and demon lair alike echoed in their emptiness the foot steps of the mice and birds that were all that would now inhabit the valley. All that was truly left untouched was gleaming; marble road that wound it's way to the center of the valley, and the cursed glade of the so-called Lady of Cold Stone.

            And so it came to pass that for nigh on to six hundred years the only creatures to disturb silence were the mice, squirrels, birds, and the occasional temperamental goddess.

***~~~***

            Dionysus was drunk. Nothing unusual about that. As the god of mainly wine and fertility let it be known, if he wasn't drunk, that would have been a sad thing indeed. Shaking her head Athena turned back to her beautiful owl to finish feeding him. He was finally finished. A good thing too. Olympus was incredibly cold right now and she wanted to take a hot bath.

            Dionysus stumbled along. He couldn't see clearly, walk straight, but he felt good. He was the god of wine and life was good. He tripped over a root and fell to the ground, his ever and always full wine goblet tipped and a bit of his wine spilled, turning the hot spring into the very cold wine. Righting himself he ambled on humming a merry little tune.

            Stripping off her toga, Athena disappeared and re-appeared above the hot spring in dive form. She was an artist after all. She completed the dive into the water without a splash. She was in for a shock. A very cold one at that.

            She came up freezing, teeth chattering and very cold wine dripping off her and from her hair. The frigid air that Demeter was causing with her grief wasn't helping too much either. "Dammit Dionysus! Damn you!!" her scream echoed throughout Mt. Olympus. 

***~~~***

            Athena was fuming. That was just so very wrong (A/N if you don't that refers to I can't help you). She could think of only one place to go for a truly hot  and after that war with the wine, needed, bath. She appeared in a valley surrounded by its basalt cliffs. Dark beauty. _'Kracken, why the HELLS do you insist on keeping this place so damned cold?' _ She ignored the chill and the beauty and strode over to the statue of marble. She looked at the statue for a few seconds then:

            "Kracken? Hey Kracken? Are you there? I know you hear me."

            The statue didn't answer.

            "Kracken!!!!! This is not the time to piss me off. I know you're in there! Dammit! I'm a goddess! You're supposed to answer me damn you!!"

            The statue briefly rolled its eyes and continued staring off into space. 

            "I saw that! WAKE UP AND ANSWER ME!! I'M COLD, I'M PISSED OFF AT DIONYSUS AND I NEED A BATH TO GET THIS WINE OFF ME!! ANSWER ME!!!"

            Silence.

            "So you want to play do you? I'll have to force you to wake up." Athena took out her sword and banged the hilt on the statues head. "Wake up!"

            Still no answer.

            Again she rammed the hilt down on the marble head.

            Nothing.

            Finally incredibly peeved, she went behind the statue, climbed up, and brought the hilt down with her full strength. _'That should do it,'_ she thought smugly. 

            Just then she was thrown backwards into the hot spring as the statue exploded. A blinding flash enveloped the clearing as the little obsidian figurine vanished in a gout of black flame. When she regained her sight, Athena was looking up at the vague, brightly glowing figure of a butterfly/dragon winged woman with a singularly disagreeable expression. 

            "What the fuck did you do that for you crazy bitch?!"

            "Nice to see you too, Kracken," she said looking down at her melted sword. Damn another one gone to dust, or rather, melted metal. She really needed to stop waking Kracken up this way. 

            "You think you'd know better by now," she said smugly.

            "Fuck off," Athena replied. "How did I ever manage to become friends with a crazy bitch of a light wraith (A/N's notes: yes, to talk like Hoggle: That be's whats it stands for the l.w.'s.) like you?"

            The creature just grinned at her.  "That would be your fault. I didn't ask you to haul me out of the Aegean Sea and wake me up, now did I?"

            "I was under the impression that you liked being awake oh temperamental THING!"

            "How is Hephaestus going to react when you tell him you need yet another new sword, oh great goddess of all things wise?"

            "I don't know, and I don't care. And the can the sarcasm you crazy bitch."

            "Oh I'm so hurt, and here I thought you were my friend."

            "No comment temperamental lawn ornament."

            Kracken grinned again, Athena was one of the few and that's a lot in her case, people that she talked to rather than incinerating. 

            "And stopping draining my energy. I'm pissy enough as it is!"

            Smiling, she said: "That's not me. It's this little bauble," she said holding out a shikon shard. "I plucked it off the last youkai I ate."

            Athena looked at it for a second. "What is it?"

            "I don't really know, some power item, think it was for granting wishes, but I don't know for sure. It seems like it though. Feels like the oracle stone at Delphi. Whatever it is it doesn't matter. Go take your bath before you stink up my valley with the stench of Dionysus' sour wine."

            "Thank you," Athena said tossing the toga out of the hot spring. 

            Kracken wandered off down the marble path humming tunelessly to herself. "I'm going to find a snack," she called over her shoulder. 


	2. Sesshoumaru in DEEP well you know what

Hello again to everyone! I'm The Goddess, who is currently teamed up with Kracken l.w. And I bring you, yet ANOTHER chapter of Pink Rhinestone Collars Equal Bad Days. Sesshoumaru is about to make a VERY BIG mistake. 

Read and review please. I do not own Inu-Yasha, or Athena, or Typhon or Echinda. The last three are Greek Mythology characters and the information on them I found at this site: http://www.pantheon.org

Sesshoumaru's in deep… sh-well you know what it is. 

            Lazily, Athena waved her arm, hearing Kracken's foot prints walk away. For any normal human, that would be impossible as Kracken is undetectable, but for Athena, she could hear and feel the earth vibrate beneath Kracken; besides, she was a goddess, her senses were better than any humans, demons or warrior. She leaned her head back against the rocks. The hot water sure felt good. 

~~~***~~~

            "Jaken. A shikon shard has revealed itself."

            "Where my lord?" asked the frog-like creature.

            "In the Valley of Cold Stone."

            "Ah, no my lord!" Jaken wailed. "We can't go there! Not even your father would have gone there! No human has gone there that hasn't come back!"

            "Human, Jaken. I am not human," Sesshomaru stated coldly. 

            "There isn't a youkai that's ever come back from that place either my lord."

            A youkai had never come back either? That was beyond strange. Demons were extremely hard to kill.

            "Nevertheless, Jaken. Come along. We will fight and win against whatever youkai eating demon is there." With that, Sesshoumaru started to walk off with a frightened Jaken following him.

~~~***~~~

            _'I'm going to take Dionysus' goblet and bury it far within Mt. Aetna where Typhon is. Or maybe I'll give it to Typhon's mate, Echidna… One of the two. I'm not too concerned for now. The hot water feels wonderful. I'll have to tell Apollo to sing songs about the hot springs… What am I thinking?' she wondered. She didn't care. The water felt great. Taking a breath, she dunked herself to get the soap out of her hair. She didn't hear or feel the demon that came with his whimpering servant. _

            Sesshoumaru looked over the dark basalt cliffs into the valley below. It would be tricky, the cliffs were steep. He considered changing to his natural form, but decided against it. The cliffs were smooth, and he would have no footing going down. He decided to just slide down. 

            "Jaken, follow me," he said sliding down. 

            Terrified, Jaken did as told.

            The valley was beautiful. The shrines and pagoda's were in disrepair, but the valley itself was beautiful. It had been at least six-hundred years since a person or demon last set foot here in this valley, but the growth was neat and not overgrown. The valley had to be enchanted. He stepped forward, towards the heart of the valley and encountered an unpleasant sharpness and crushing beneath his feet. He looked down. What he saw made him stare in horror. Demon bones. Lot's of them. Not too many human bones… bones of a demon were thicker, denser and bigger than a humans. Demons had wandered into the valley and as Jaken had said… never come out. 

            He looked around. Bones, numerous amounts littered the ground and base of trees, a hot spring with a person inside it bathing, a marble road that he could have walked upon… wait, a bathing person? This valley was supposed to be empty. If there was a person here, then that person could be the demon destroyer. He pulled out the Tensaiga. If this person was the devourer here, then he would destroy him. He walked over to the hot spring.

            Athena stood and stretched, ready to go back to Olympus when she heard bones crunching behind her. Too bad her sword had been melted, but, she didn't need it. She turned to face the intruder. A… dog demon? This day couldn't get any worse!!! She hated dog demons since the last one she met tried to kill her owl and tried to eat her. She wondered where that one was, hopefully he was dead and his kids were too (A/N- guess who tried to eat my lovely owl). 

            _'Correction,' Sesshoumaru thought. __'She.' _

            "Who are you?" she asked clearly, her tone brooking no argument. Many a fools had argued with her and suffered the consequences. The Furies here, Harpies there, the Hydra some place else… nothing major and nothing that a person couldn't get out if they were smart…which, most of them weren't, but that wasn't the point. 

            "Feh," he said not answering. "A weak human is the almighty demon devourer. I don't believe it."

            That was bad. She had one hell of a day and being caught in the nude after a bath and being called a weak mortal didn't help her mood or the person who'd insulted her for that matter.

            "Mortal? Did you just call me mortal, child?" she was getting angrier by the minute; Kracken would have been proud. 

            "A mortal has the shikon shard," he said. "Such an irony."

            Sesshoumaru watched her lovely eyes go wider and a storm spark in them. She was well-endowed for a human. He looked at her appreciatively and her eyes got angrier. He gave her a cold smile and continued looking at her.

            "Don't even THINK about it," she snarled. The day had just reached an all time low; she was going to get him for that. Closing her eyes she disappeared out of the water in front of him a regal silver toga on with her melted sword sheathed. She watched him step back in surprise.

            "I'd send the Furies after you, but they're no longer the Furies so that won't work. Listen to me, dog boy, I am not happy with what you just called me, and I'll make you pay for it too. Thank you for making my day worse. It wasn't enough to fall into a pool of wine, I had to be insulted by you. You will rue the day that you called me 'a weak human'."

            Angrily, Athena disappeared to plan her revenge. 


	3. Athena's busy and on a roll What will ha...

          Disclaimer: The only things we own in this fic are Cold Stone, Kracken, and the Insanity. Muwahahahaha. Don't try to drive us to sanity please. It's just not a good idea; we like being the way we are. Enjoy part three. (Sesshie sure won't.)  We also don't own Magician Murphy. He came from Xanth, created by Piers Anthony (Xanthony). 

          Kracken sat on a rock in the clearing…waiting. Waiting for what you ask? Well, food. She'd figured out that the shard she had would make excellent bait. She wanted to see what would try to take it from her and she didn't have long to wait. As she sat there peacefully contemplating the forest, she idily shifted form to a well to do Japanese matron. Not too old, not too young, completely rich, sometimes commonly seen, unassuming and un-threatening. Boy was that wrong.  'After all,' she thought. 'It wouldn't do to frighten the dears off.'  

          She didn't have long to wait.

  
          "Hand over the Shard. And do it now. Or feel my blade."

          Lunch is served.

          She decided to ignore him for a while to see if he would come closer. Wouldn't you know it? The fool that he was; he did come closer. Until that is, the wind shifted and he got a whiff of her 'scent'.  Definitely (did we mention definitely?), not human.  If you could call it a scent at all… more like a sensation, like you were standing on the edge of a volcano, an active one at that. (Athena: Sheesh, you're mean dammit.) (Kracken: Well! I was getting ready to eat before you came along!)  

          The next thing he knew, his demon blood was drawn to a secluded point just behind his heart, leaving him defenseless, human, (and unfortunately for Kracken, less appetizing) (Kracken: dammit!!! That's just wrong!). At the same time, he felt Shippou cling to his leg and whimper. His parents had told about THIS particular creature. And right now he envied Inuyasha's ability to become human, one of the few that is. 

          Inuyasha decided to try again. (Athena: doesn't know when to quit now does he? Tsk.) "Hand over the shard bitch. I'm not going to tell you again!" (Athena: bakana). Kracken rolled her eyes and continued to stare straight ahead as a strangely dressed human child with long black hair and a strange aura came bouncing into the clearing. (Kracken: oh, gods. Not another one! Damn Miko's. Get rid of one, ANOTHER ONE JUST HAS TO SHOW UP IN HER PLACE. They keep trying to exorcise me. It's getting annoying, not to mention old… ATHENA!! I told you not to wake me!!!) (Athena: No comment temperamental lawn ornament wannabe.) 

          Kracken sighed and turned to regard her visitors. Really it was just too bad that the half demon had to change form like that. He had actually looked appetizing. The little fox demon just wasn't worth bothering with, and that girl!!! She'd eat her if another one wouldn't come along after her. But one would, Murphy's curse. She'd get Magician Murphy for that one. 

          Wait. Wasn't there something slightly familiar with the half demon? Oh yes. "Don't I know you?" she asked. 

          He flinched as his demon blood tried to recede from his body entirely. Every instinct he possessed screamed at him to flee that burning regard. It was all he could do to hold his place when a small tendril of glowing energy snaked slowly from her fingers, and the harmless looking illusion disappeared to reveal the flaming form she normally wore. His eyes rolled back in his head and Kagome and Shippou both screamed, though for different reasons, as the half blood crashed to the ground, seemingly impaled by the beam of light. Kagome drew an arrow, and even got off a shot, but it was no good, the arrow burst into flame on contact, and not even ashes were left. 

"I'm not hurting him, you little idiot!" Kracken snapped. She withdrew the tendril just as a screaming Athena burst into the clearing.  

"Kracken!!!!"  

She groaned. "Not again."

          "There's a youkai in your valley and he called me mortal. Mortal!! ME. A GODDESS. DO I LOOK MORTAL TO YOU?!!"

          Kracken sighed and regarded her… well, she had no technical name for her, but friend would have to do. Though chronic annoyance would fit too.  

          "Well, more mortal than I do at any rate. Now, would you mind letting me get on with my business?"

          Athena turned (her whole body) bright and dangerous red. "What business?" she asked deceptively sweet.

          "Take that tone of voice with me and I'll give you a close up and personal reminder of what sort of business I'm involved in. Or did you fail to learn that lesson a few thousand years ago? (Kracken is nothing to mess with when PMSing).  She turned back to Inuyahsa. "I believe your mother left something with me. Should I give it to you?"

          Defiantly, Inuyasha said, "Feh. Weak thing like you. I don't care."

          She grinned at him. "You're decision. If you want it, follow  the white road." She promptly disappeared. 

          Athena looked at Inuyasha. Great, another mutt. The day was full of them. She hated dog demons. The very first one she'd met tried to eat her owl. Damn him to the deepest hell. And all his children too. Come to think of it… both of the dogs she'd met today, seemed to resemble him greatly… shit. 

          "And you!" she said to Inuyasha. "Don't be like your baka father and try to eat my owl!"

          "What owl?" asked Kagome.

          "That one!" Athena said pointing to the tree branch where the beautiful silver owl sat staring at Kagome evilly. 

          "Oh, is that ugly thing yours? I wouldn't eat it if you paid me. I wouldn't eat it for all the demon powers in the world."

          "Why you-!"

          Kracken appeared just behind her and grabbing around the waist (No hentai here people, just trying to save my lunch from his own idiocy.) and promptly dumped her fully clothed on to her daddy's lap.   

          "What? Athena? What are you doing here?"

          "He called me mortal!!" she raged. 

          "Who?"

          "He called me mortal!! I have to punish him!!!"

          "Ummm… have fun… dear," he said weakly. Sometimes, it was better just not to ask.

In the valley…

          Kracken stood by her lake juggling the shard idly in one hand. Suddenly, a soft voice demanded:

          "Hand over the shard, and do it now. Or feel my talons."

          "Not again," Kracken moaned.  "Why is my lunch so sassy today?"

          Sesshoumaru stared at her. Lunch? He didn't want to know. 

          "What do you want, little man?"

          "I want the shard. Now hand it over."

          "You've got a lot of sass for a young pup."

          Sesshoumaru stared at the woman in front of him. How young did she think he was?

          "You?" Kracken said. "You're only about two-thousand years old. Wet behind the ears puppy?"

          "What?????"

          "Where as I have been around practically since the world began. Should I eat you now or later, I wonder?" 

          She began to stalk around him casually looking him over with intent to assess how appetizing he was. Very appetizing, lot's of nice demonic power and contempt. Yum.  She pinched his cheeks. Just right, not too skinny not too fat. 

          "What do you think you're doing????"

          "Testing my meal."

          "YOU'RE WHAT????? MEAL?? I DON'T THINK SO!!!! FEEL MY TALONS!!!" he screamed, slashing at her. (Athena: Baka).

          He screamed again as his talons caught fire.

          "Just for that, I think I'll eat you now. Be a good dog and heel."

          "KRACKEN!!!! DON'T YOU DARE!"

          'Oh no. Not again. What does this crazy bitch have against me eating lunch?'

          "He's mine."

          "He's in my valley, I caught him, he's my lunch."

          "I claim revenge."

          "For WHAT??"

          "He called me mortal."

          "So? You look like one. Get over it!" she raged grabbing Sesshoumaru and dragging him off screaming (Kracken: His arm is on fire and he can't get away from me. New experience for him. He'll shut up soon).

          Athena grabbed his other arm and pulled him back. He stood between the two like a rubber band waiting to be pulled. 

          "I claim revenge. I don't care if he was in your valley. He insulted me first."

          "I care that he was in my valley. It's MY valley. He is in my valley and therefore he is mine."

          "Immortal claim of revenge. I'll give you the half–blood brother and the father. Good enough?"

          "The half-blood keeps changing to human and they taste like shit. And the dad is long gone."

          "I'll make the half-blood unable to change, and I'll convince my uncle to get the father from these hells for you. Agreed? This one is mine."

          Kracken thought for a minute. "I guess."

          "Agreed."

          Kracken picked up Sesshoumaru and tossed him to Athena, who promptly tossed him back. "Stick around for a while and don't eat him. I need to do something."

          She disappeared and Kracken gave Sesshie and evil smile. "Don't even think about running, Fluffy. Bad things will happen if you do. She never said I couldn't scorch you around the edges."

          And so… Fluffy stayed. 

          Athena reappeared next to Inuyasha. Touching him slightly on the arm, she disappeared…

          She re-appeared in the valley with Inuyasha and a large dog demon. "Here," she said to Kracken. "Take them."

          Athena looked at Sesshoumaru. "Now, what to do with you. Got any suggestions Kracken?" 

          "Well… there's always the neon pink rhinestone collar. And by the way, he doesn't like being called Fluffy. "

The END—for now…

 Kracken:  Pooor, poor fluffy, he's NOT a happy puppy dog.

Review please. ^__^

Just to let you know… Just to let you know, Kracken l.w. and The Goddess will write two more stories together and if by then you haven't guessed who The Goddess is, we will tell you at the end of the third story. So please leave your guesses with your reviews or e-mail us at: TheTerribleTwosome closetelves@yahoo.com


	4. Collars are bad, Pink ones are worse beg...

**Collars are bad, Pink ones are worse.**

            Once again, we don't own InuYasha and company. Athena, Hades, and Charon are apart of Greek Mythology… (Kracken: Obviously.) (The Goddess: ::shrugs::), Enma is another name for King Yemma. Enjoy as 'Fluffy' is tortured…

            So 'Fluffy' stayed… though not…willing.

            Kracken looked at the squirming demon for a minute, then told him: "Just give it up. It's no use. You're not getting away from me."

            Kracken looked at Inutaisho for a minute then gave Athena the most disgusted look she'd ever seen. "He has no soul! How am I supposed to eat him if he has no soul?"

            Athena looked at the father of the feuding brothers. "You're right. What the hell? This means I have to go deal with King Enma and my uncle Hades. Damn you, Kracken," she said disappearing.

            Kracken just rolled her eyes and went back to watching Sesshoumaru trying desperately to escape. He'd gotten to the cliffs and was trying to climb them out of the valley but every time he got close, she knocked him down again and finally grabbed his tail so that he couldn't move at all. He yelped in pain and tried to change to his dog form to try and escape that way… to no avail. Kracken laughed and said: "Heh, I know how to deal with that." 

            And promptly slapped, much to his horror, a neon pink collar and leash with the inscription 'Fluffy' on it in thousands of shiny little rhinestones. 

            "NOOO!!!" he howled changing back and trying his best to rip the collar off. Unfortunately, it had shrunk to fit his neck. 

            Kracken looped the leash around her wrist before she fell over laughing and proceeded to ignore the vicious curses being thrown her way by the irate dog demon.

            She wasn't the only one laughing. For the just then, Inuyasha and his peanut gallery arrived in time to witness Sesshoumaru's ultimate disgrace as he was put through obedience school. 

            "Sit, stay! Heel dammit heel!!!" Kracken said yanking on the leash. "Now…" she said with an evil smirk. "Roll over boy. And then play dead for a minute while I talk to these nice people."

            'Fluffy', growled but did as told.

                                    In Hell….

            "I don't understand," said King Enma, a great, purple demon in an equally horrible suit.

            "Neither do I," said the soft voice of her uncle.

            Athena sighed. Really, how hard was it? "I need the Inutaisho's soul for his body."

            "So he can get eaten?"

            "Yes, Enma-daioh," she said. If anyone ever wondered why she said that, well, different hells…different rulers. It shouldn't be that hard to figure out.

            "But why?"

            "Yes, Athena, why?"

            "I claim vengeance, upon his son, but Kracken has prior claim being that he was in her valley. So I brought back his body, which has no soul. I claim vengeance and I'll have my vengeance even if it means I must barge into the hells to find him!" Athena raged.

            Enma sighed and looked at Hades. Hades looked at his niece. It was truly Hades call being the overlord. "Very well. I DON"T need you barging through the hells!" He produced a bottle and handed it to her.

            "I think you'll find him at the shores of Styx."

            "Eh?"

            "He likes to fish. And that's what he's doing…again. Go to Styx, he's in his half form. You can't miss him." A cave mouth appeared and Athena stepped through to re-emerge at the shores of Styx. Now the fun began. 

                                                            Back to the Valley…

            "Oh there you are. Took you long enough. How'd you like the show? He's not quite competition class, but I'll get him there eventually."

            "That was great! Can you get him there again?" Inuyasha asked.

            "Give me a second to do so," she said. She turned to Sesshoumaru and smiled evilly. "Now boy…"

                                    In Hell…again…

            Athena walked along the shores of Styx. It was weird being on the 'wrong' side. She was on the side that would ultimately lead to her Uncle's Palace of the Damned. She walked over to the barge of Charon, as he rested on this side until called back to the other side. She stepped into the barge.

            "Charon, I need to find Inutaisho. Do you know where he is?"

            Charon rolled his eyes. "That ONE! Who doesn't know where he is? Every time I go by, he yells at me for me scaring away the fish. Dead fish that is. How do you scare dead fish? You don't! I could hit them with my paddle and it wouldn't matter!! But enough, I'll take you to the mental mutt."

            Charon pushed off into the middle of the river with the goddess standing in the back. She heard him mutter: "What does a DOG having any business doing with a fishing pole anyways?"

            Athena shook her head and leaned back as the ferry sailed through the water.

                                    In the Valley…

            " He's not competition quality yet, but he's getting there. Let's see, he now knows sit, stay, heel, roll over, and play dead, what else can we teach this bad mannered mutt? Oh yes, now Fluffy, this shouldn't be too hard, seeing as it's just and elaboration on the sit command. Pay close attention little priestess, you may want to use this one sometime in the future. No pun intended. Now fluffy, sit. Good dog. Now, lie down, you heard me, down. Now." He whined a bit but lay down put his head on is paws, and wandered privately what indignity she would subject him to next. He didn't have to long to wait. " Now that wasn't to hard was it fur ball? Now for a really fun command!" His ears flattened in utter terror and he whined piteously, would it never end? " Now mutt, beg." "WHAAAT!!" He changed forms so fast that all anyone could see was blur. " You heard me, beg, now." This hurt; he was NEVER going to live this one down. Especially with his worthless little brother snickering on the sidelines. "NOW, Fluffy, not next year, not next millennium, Now." He wished he could just die and get this over with. He sank to his knees, clasped his hands front of him, and begged. After all, he'd seen others do it often enough. " Nice technique, you must have done this before." He started to say that he'd done no such thing, but she snapped the leash again, forcing him to change form, and all that came out was a strangled yelp. " Now try it this way. Beg."  WHY couldn't he just expire, from sheer mortification if nothing else! Nothing for it, he sat up and begged.

                                    Back in hell…

            They went all the way to a small pool where a half-canid demon sat fishing, his tail wagging in contentment. Athena exited the barge and went behind the demon. "I'm sorry, Inutaisho, but you need to come get eaten."

            She held the bottle to the demon soul, and it sucked him in. She stepped into the barge again and was propelled back to the shore where she was. Another cave mouth appeared and as she stepped through, she heard Charon mutter: "No more listening to I'm scaring the fish."

.           "Don't worry Charon, he'll be back."

            "DAMN!!!!" could be heard echoing throught Hades.

            She shrugged and disappeared into the valley again… to the weirdest sight she'd ever seen. Sesshoumaru had a collar, and was begging…   

            At Coldstone …

            "Good dog, right on the first try. You're a natural." Inuyasha appeared to have some trouble breathing, he was laughing so hard. Kagome began to pound his back while Sango and Miroku tried valiantly to stifle their own gales of laughter. To see the proud demon reduced to the status of a common mutt was hilarious. Kracken ignored them, and the arrival of Athena and an unamused Inutaisho, in favour of teaching Fluffy his next command. She pulled a large stick out of thin air, and proceeded to give such an evil smile that every one stopped laughing. She threw it over Sesshoumaru' s shoulder. "Fetch." Oh, no. What next? He was considering going to get it when he looked over and saw the goddess staring at him in utter delight. And his father, staring at him in utter disgust.  No, not now, not ever again. The crazy sorceress, priestess, whatever she was, could choke him to death for all he cared. He would not be humiliated in front of his father. "FETCH Fluffy, or do I have to make you?" Damn her, damn her to the deepest, darkest pits of hell. He wasn't doing it. Until an invisible whip of sheer heat lashed across his hind end, sending him scurrying after the stick. Damn her….

            Back to Athena's POV…

            Athena's eyes went wide as she watched Sesshoumaru chase after the stick. "Kracken!!!! How wonderful! You saved me the trouble!!"

            Sesshoumaru looked at her. He didn't want to know…

            "Yes, well, I KNEW you'd fuck it up if you tried to train him."

            Athena smiled knowingly taking no offense; she was always like that. Maybe she should get Apollo here…

            While Athena and Kracken were busy bantering back and forth, Inutaisho resumed dog form and trotted over to his eldest son. "YOU, Sesshoumaru, are a disgrace to the family name! Look at you! Begging! Coming when called! Fetching!!!! Just like some common mortal mutt! Have you no pride? And I though your brother was bad with his SIT commands! This is just too embarrassing!"

            Sesshoumaru ducked his head and whined; in abject humiliation, this had to be the worst day of his LONG life.


	5. Fishing, and Sesshie in drag!

Fishing, and Sesshie in drag?!

_By Kracken L.W. & The Goddess(wannabe)_

_Goddess: Bite me._

_Kracken: No thanks, I prefer sterile food. You might give me indigestion._

            Disclaimer: No. Just…No. If you ask if we own Inuyasha, if we're sane, or if the goddess is intelligent, the answer is still the same. NO.

(DAMN YOU Kracken, I am the **Goddess ****of wisdom, intelligence is my middle name!)**

(Says you…..)

Inutaisho: This is so very embarrassing.

Sesshoumaru: You should talk, she's not making **you** beg.

Inuyasha: *snicker* 

            While Inutaisho chewed Sesshie out for disgracing the family honor, and Athena relearned how to breathe, Kracken materialized an oddly shaped, shiny piece of jointed metal. "This, I believe, is yours. A little present from daddy. Your mother left it with me almost a hundred years ago, maybe more, you were awfully slow in collecting it." She tossed it at the hanyou, without even stopping to see his reaction. He caught it automatically, then yelped and dropped it. Sucking his burned fingers and glaring daggers at the unimpressed Kracken. "Why don't you go try it out and get out of my hair, it's supposed to be an excellent lure." "YES!!! Dad's lucky lure! Mom told me about it so many times, see ya!" Suddenly all three demonic males were congregating down by the stream, pulling fishing poles, line, and lures out of their sleeves. "Inuyasha likes to fish?" Kagome asked incredulously. "SHHHHHHH!" Miroku rolled his eyes at the fanatics and drawled "Stranger things have happened.". Sango just laughed.

            Athena chuckled at the sight of the three demonic dogs fishing. Sadly however, it had to end. She and Sesshoumaru had business elsewhere. She had plans for him. 

            "I'm going to take him now. I have plans for him."

            "What will you do, Athena?"

            "I think, I'll dress him as a girl and let Apollo have fun hitting on him."

            Kracken stared at Athena, then walked over to Sesshoumaru. She stared at his back until he turned around and smiled at him and said: "You poor thing." And walked away laughing manically as she went. This was going to be good. 

            "Sesshie! Here boy! Come to the goddess. Here boy!" she called whistling. 

            Sesshoumaru then noticed that Kracken had just handed Athena the leash. Oh well, she couldn't be as bad as Kracken. Boy was he in for a big surprise. 

            Standing, he willing went over to Athena, not looking at the other two. He wouldn't have been able to bare it. "At least you won't be as bad as Kracken." She merely grinned and disappeared…up to her home at Mount Olympus. 

The fun was going to start… thanks partially to Apollo. 

            "Can I take this blindfold off now?"

            "Not yet dammit, now stop. I'm trying to put this balm on your lips."

            "But why am I blindfolded?"

            "Because you are. Now hush."

            She looked over the lip color. Now what color should she use? She looked at the palate again… She smiled. A rich red would do. Uncapping it, she applied the red lipstick and stepped back to admire her handy work. Hmmm… ah! Eye color was missing! She flicked her finger and the blindfold went transparent. Red, yellow, and white gold decorated his eyelids now. Perfect! Now…the clothes had to go. Pointing at him, his clothes reformed to a short red skirt, white tank, and high heeled black boots with white fish net stockings. She clamped her hands over her mouth to stifle her laughter. 

            "May I remove this blindfold now?" came the plaintive question. 

            "Yes," she said. 

            Reaching up, he took off the blindfold and looked in the mirror. He looked at himself for a few minutes, then screamed loud and long. She just grinned; this was great. Not as bad as Kracken? She could be worse!

            He couldn't remove the damned clothes! No! It was impossible!! Absolutely impossible. A knock on the door. 

            "Why Apollo, how nice. Come on in."

            He sighed, he wouldn't have to worry. 

            "I am concerned, Athena. You were so angry earlier. Are you all right?" 

            "Yes, fine, Apollo. I was steamed," she said, leading him to her living room where Sesshoumaru in drag sat.

            "Athena, who is that woman?" 

            "Her? Oh, she's my new handmaiden. Sessha."

            "She's cute."

            Athena smiled evilly behind Apollo's back as a look of outrage crossed Sesshoumaru's face.

            "Care for some ambrosia, Apollo?"

            "Yes, please," said the god.

            While Athena was searching out ambrosia in her kitchen, Apollo walked over to Sessha the new handmaiden. 

            "I said you're cute."

            Sesshie said nothing. 

            "Don't talk much?" he asked sitting down next to her er…him.

            His claws popped in and out behind his back.

            "Strong, and silent. I do enjoy women like that so much," he said putting his arm around her… him and scooting closer trying to put his hand where it just shouldn't go.

            Sesshoumaru screamed. "Get your fucking hands away from me, you pervert I AM A GUY YOU, BASTARD. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!!! I DON'T SWING THAT WAY!!"

            Apollo stood and moved so fast that it was blur. "Athena!!!!!!" he cried.

            She was rolling on the floor laughing in a most ungodly like behavior.

            "Athena!!" Apollo raged as he stood over her rolling body. "That was cruel! You know that I don't swing both ways like Dad!"   
  


            But Athena was laughing too hard. Sesshoumaru was trying desperately to hide in a shadow…it wasn't every day that guys came up to him and tried to pick him up. He was beginning to regret calling Athena mortal. This was just to humiliating…he preferred begging! On second thought…he preferred having listened to Jaken…, which, of course, he didn't do. Damn it all to hell.  

            While Athena laughed and Apollo raged, another person appeared inside the house. He was a distinguished looking gentleman, with white hair and vibrant blue eyes that brimmed with the joyfulness of life. A very small, almost unseeable crown gleamed in his hair and laurel decorated his head; this was the king of the gods, Zeus himself. 

            "Athena! Apollo! What are you two doing?"

            "Nothing father," Apollo said in deference to his father. 

            "Right. I'll believe that when Poseidon's waters turn to gold," he said.

            "I can arrange it," Athena said brightly. 

            "No. That's quite all right dearest."

            "Darn."

            Then Zeus looked at Sesshoumaru curiously. Oh no, not again! "Athena, why do you have a male demon dressed in drag?"

            "It's punishment."

            "For what?"

            "He called me mortal, father."

            Apollo groaned and slapped his head. How could he have been so stupid?

            Zeus shook his head and looked at Sesshoumaru thoughtfully. "He's awfully cute. Mind if I have a bit of fun with him?"

            That did it. Sesshoumaru screamed and darted behind Athena, whimpering and shaking. 

            She laughed. "Sorry, father. I don't think that he's too amenable to play with other guys."

            "Oh well, doesn't hurt to try. He and Ganymede would have been great friends."

            "I'm sure."

            Zeus disappeared, and Apollo soon followed giving her a death glare.

            "Now," she said brightly, "let's take a walk."

            Dumm Dumm Dumm… what does Athena have in store for 'Fluffy' now? She's already dressed him in drag… what does the vengeful Athena have in store for him next? Tune in next time as Athena tortures him a bit more!

BTW:: TAMPA BAY WON THE SUPER BOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO TAMPA! GO TAMPA! GO TAMPA BAY! YOU ROCKED THE HOUSE AND THE COUNTRY SIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO TAMPA BAY BUCS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  


	6. Ireland and Puck just don't work

Cold Stone chapter six: The Daoine Sidhe. 

Sesshoumaru: I don't wanna!

Athena: Did I say I cared?

Sesshoumaru: *whimpers* 

Athena: Do the disclaimer already. 

Sesshoumaru: Disclaimer, Ummm, NO! Kracken and The Goddess do not own Inuyasha. It'd be bad if they did… there'd be more torture, and worse than this. Thank you Rumiko Takashi! *yelps* 

Athena: That's quite enough from you.  Let's go.

Sesshoumaru: *whimpers again*

The Goddess: We also don't own the Daione Sidhe . That be Irish and Scottish Mythology. Thanks to Encyclopedia Mythica ; for the name of Finavarah's wife.  By the way, keep guessing on who The Goddess is. She, I write under another pen name. Also, Daoine Sidhe is pronounced Theena Shee.   

They disappeared, only to re-appear in Ireland somewhere. As Athena looked around, Sesshoumaru contemplated taking the leash from her.  

          "It will do you no good to try and take the leash from me. I'd just find something worse to do to you. Worse than drag, and worse than what I am about to do."

          That certainly didn't sound good. "Where are we?" he asked mildly. 

          "Ireland," she said looking at the ground. 

          "Why are we in Ireland?"

          "Because I need Oonagh's help."

          "Oonagh? Who is that? And why do you need help? Could I possibly be of help?"

          Athena stared at him. "What a truly uncharacteristic question to ask! No, I am sorry. You cannot help with this particular project. Oonagh, is a friend of mine, and is Finvarrah's wife. She has agreed to help me plan a ball at Olympus."

          "Who is Finvarrah?"

          "The Faerie King. The High Faerie King."

          Faerie King. Nope, that definitely didn't sound good. He wished the day were already over with. He looked at the sky where the sun shone brightly. Nope, no such luck.

          "I am looking for a back way into the kingdom."

          "Why?" 

          "I do not wish to upset the faerie mounds."

          "Why?"

          "You seem to like that question today. Yet, how would _you_ like it if your home were trampled?" 

          "I'd probably destroy whomever decided to trample it," he responded.

          "I thought as much. And the faeries do, in their own respect. They trap people, by way of the faerie rings."

          "Faerie ring?"

          "People dance themselves to the death if they should enter into a faerie ring while the faeries dance."

          "Ah," he said. "I have heard of them, and that."

          "Well, being who and what you are, I am not surprised. Still, I was sure there was an entrance around here somewhere… ah ha!" came the triumphant sound. "Here it is!"

          He looked around and saw… absolutely nothing. She must have been hallucinating but he dared not tell her that.  "Where?" he asked.

          "Here," she said pointing to a cluster of trees.

          "I see nothing."

          "You aren't looking. Focus. Not just your eyes, your mind. Things when dealing with the Daoine Sidhe are not what they seem."

          Try as he might, he just couldn't see it.

          "Never mind then. Come." She held out her hand, and willing he took it forgetting that he was in drag. When he got inside however, he soon became aware of it. 

          "Athena! Welcome to the Faerie Court!" boomed a voice.

          "Finvarra! Thank you! How good it is to see you!"

          "Will you honor us at our feast and sing and dance with us? If you do, I shall let you talk to Oonagh," said the king mischievously. 

          "Very well! Be coy!"

          "I shall! Sing for us great goddess!" There was no mockery in voice. 

          "Give me a harp and I will tell you a story, then, my lords and ladies, of times long ago. Dance and be merry whilst I sing."

          A harp was handed to her, and carefully, she began to tune it to her voice. Plucking the strings, she began a robust song about the Titans of old. 

          "_The Titan walked, the human rode._

_          A horse of the gods to the northside road _

_          To where the gods lay afeasting. _

_          "Why should you ride?" asked the Titan sore!_

_          "I ride, I ride, my joints are poor. Yours are healthy and lithe_

_          and fast to catch me!"_

_          "And catch thee, I will!"_

_          So the Titan ran and ran trying to catch the _

_          God born horse!_

_          But alas! Futile it was, futile it was. _

_          Tis a merry game, thought the horse as it ran_

_          Ran away from the Titan angry._

_          To the feast it ran, leaving the Titan in dust _

_          Beyond his wake. There at the feast, all the hay_

_          It could want, it dropped his rider aprancing_

_          The hay strong in scent! The wings it used to fan _

_          Itself to coolness._

_          "You can fly?" asked the mortal strange_

_          "But of course," replied the horse. "How do you think I managed_

_          to carry all your bulk?"_

_          To this the human had no answer, for soon the Titan _

_          Aburst into the clearing. _

_          Then came the water commanded to cool,_

_          Soaking the sun as he burst into he clearing!_

_          "Well," said his comrades. "That shall teach you to _

_          thus stay in the sky!" _

_          from then, the titan stayed in the sky, but only _

_          to glare evilly at Pegasus as he flies to open sky!" _

                                                            ~The Goddess. An original for class. Please don't take.   

          While Athena sang of merry times, the faeries danced and danced, some played along. A handsome faerie approached Sesshoumaru. 

          "Madam, honor me with a dance?"

          "Pervert!" he screeched. "I'm a guy! How many times will I tell you people I don't swing that way!!! Sheesh!"

          "But you make a pretty girl."

          His golden eyes grew wide and his claws popped in and out. "I happen to like it with females thank you! I am a guy!! Do I need to pull my pants down to prove it to you!?"

          "Would you?"

          "No, you sick pervert!!!!"

          "Puck! That's enough!"

          "As my lord commands. For your information demon, I wouldn't worry about the guys as much as I would the females!"

          He screamed in sheer terror and darted out of the Faerie mound. 

          "What?" asked Puck. "I was only kidding him on both accounts. Is he really that insecure?"

          "It's the first time that he's been dressed as a girl and unable to remove the clothing." She yanked on the leash and snapped it. Yelping, Fluffy came back, a giant dog with large pink ribbons tied in his ears. Roaring laughter filled the hall of the Daoine Sidhe. Yelping again, he tried to hide, but he was too big. 

          "We pity you, demon to have pissed a goddess such as Athena off!"

          "Another time Oonagh. I shall come back later."

          With that they disappeared to the outside where Fluffy once again tried to run away. Tried, being the operative word. For whatever the reason, success eluded him. When would the nightmare end? 

          "When I'm ready for it to end."

          He yelped and laid down, lying his head in his paws in embarrassment. 

~End.

Sesshoumaru: I'm sorry! I really am!

Athena: It's too late.

Sesshoumaru: *cries like a baby.*

Athena: And I thought Apollo was bad! R&R 


	7. The Beginning of the End

**The Beginning Of The End.**

_By Kracken L. W._

Disclaimer: I do not own either the concept or characters of Inuyasha in any way, shape, or form.  However, I do own the light wraiths, so please do not use them without my permission.

            Inuyasha sighed and tugged disconsolately at he his leash.  No matter what he did he couldn't get the stubborn knot to come loose.  The tree he was tied too wouldn't come loose, either. He'd tried _that_ tactic three times already.  He was not going to get loose.  He sighed again.  Just yesterday he'd made the mistake of pointing out how inferior and useless humans were in front of Kracken. Big mistake. "Foolish boy child!"  She'd hissed at him. "Your mother was worth twice what you are for courage and wisdom, if not strength. If you cannot hold your tongue, then at least put it to better use!"  The next thing he knew, his tongue slithered out of his mouth and tied itself in a knot. "Outth!" Kracken snorted and grinned at his pain-filled exclamation. "Children should be seen and not heard."  The instant the words left her mouth, he looked down to find himself in an adult sized version of swaddling clothes in an eye-searing pattern of neon green, road cone orange, and bright red paisley.  Kagome and Shippo broke out in fits of giggles. "That's not funny!!" He yelled, or tried to, anyway. What came out sounded more like "Thaths na fuhih!!" "He even talks like a big baby!" Shippo crowed. " Now Shippo, it's not nice to make fun of Inuyasha when he's helpless." Kagome's words might have carried more weight if she could have said it without laughing.

            If yesterday was bad, today was worse.  This morning he'd woken up to find himself in a white dog suit that smelled suspiciously like his elder brother, Sesshomaru.  Not ten minutes ago Kagome had walked by and patted him on the head saying "Good Doggy."  Sadistic wench, she was enjoying this way too much. Best just to ignore her.  He twitched slightly as the wind blew his brother's scent up into his face and sneezed.  He hated this!  The ugly pink collar with the designation "Puppy" on it in fake gems was bad enough. But to look and smell like his brother all day?  He would rather keep his will to live.  He looked over at the other two, who were taking a moment to eat their lunch while they waited for Kracken to return from hunting hers. He shuddered at the mere thought of what she considered food, and his demon blood tried to exit his body entirely  in the defense that was his one true physical superiority.  He could make himself unappetizing. A full-blooded demon stood no chance.  He shivered and huddled in himself; shaking his father's lure out of his sleeve and clutching it for comfort as his body slowly shifted back to normal.  He'd watched the monster siphon off the demonic power attracted to the mortal shell of his father by the resurrected demon soul.  He turned his face back up to the sun just in time to see the girl staring dreamily at him over her flask. He blushed as he lay back in the grass to catch a little sleep.  He'd been going short for months now, and it was starting to catch up with him. One of these days he'd have to tell her…

            He had been asleep for perhaps fifteen minutes when a high pitched, androgynous voice brought him to his feet with a strangled shriek as his collar caught at his throat. "Inuyasha! Inuyasha my fuzzy eared dreamboat, I know you're here somewhere!  Are you ready to scream for me honey pot?" The other two dropped their lunch and immediately went on guard as Inuyasha stared in complete horror at the lack of reachable cover.  He turned and leapt at the immovable tree, and was nearly thrown to the ground as his collar and leash brought him up short of the upper boughs. He was about be… well, horrible things were about to happen to him because that raving bitch had left him tied and helpless!! No sooner did he think of her, then she materialized beside him in a searing burst of light.  She took in Kagome and Shippo's tense stances and white faces at a glance, then turned to where Inuyasha tried in vain to scramble up the tree. Apparently not caring if he strangled himself in the process. "What in heaven's name is that?" She asked Kagome, gesturing towards the distant voice. "That, that would be Jokatsu, Inuyasha's worst nightmare." The young woman stuttered.  Kracken turned again towards the forest; absentmindedly retying the leash further up the tree.  Inuyasha sobbed in relief and disappeared into the canopy. The twisted creature would have a hard time reaching him here, especially as he'd ripped off all the lower branches on his way up. "I have a name," Kracken spared a glance in the direction of the gibbering leaves. "and an occupation. Now what, exactly, is it?"

"Well…" It all came out in a rush. "He's a resurrected sadomasochistic gay man with a fetish for Inuyasha's ears."  Kracken's eyebrows rose nearly to her semi-transparent hairline. "Mmhmmm, I see.  Does he want to kill him or…?"

"BOTH!"  Inuyasha hissed from the safety of the treetop. "It's told me so often enough!!"  "I see."  Kracken grinned.  "Then perhaps we should just leave you two alone …" She turned as if to leave.  Inuyasha came to ground so fast all the others saw was a red blur. "I am on my knees begging you," He stared up at the startled wraith, face chalk white; shaking like a willow in a storm wind with sheer, unadulterated terror. "Please, please, do not leave me to him." She kept her face blank for a minute or so and he nearly soiled himself in fright that she would do just that; but then her face cleared, and she gave the frantic half-blood a sympathetic smile. "Oh well, since you did beg so very hard…" She loosed the leash from its knot and turned to go. "Let's get out of here before the perverted one finds his playmate after all." 

Inuyasha cried out in relief and bounded into trees as far ahead of her as his leash would permit.  It was amazing how much a near brush with rape, mutilation, and murder could change one's outlook on a situation. True, he was still bound by an evil-minded, demon-eating psycho; true, he was still dressed in a doggy suit woven of his brother's shed fur.  But it could be worse. At least he wasn't being molested and/or murdered by that walking dead FREAK, Jokatsu.  Things were looking up.

THE END 

Please Review 

{A/N: Please forgive me for taking so long to get around to writing the next chapter.  My only defense is that I had so much to do that it completely slipped my mind.  I apologize. }

Kracken L. W.

The Goddess - No more Sesshomaru in drag. Sorry all, but that will come to an end. And soon, might I add. Cold Stone is nearing its completion. On to bigger fish, like torturing Eclipse. Don't know who he is? Check out Demon Diary.  

Adieu! 


End file.
